Saturday, February 2, 2013

Confessions


Incase you've noticed, I've been gone from YouTube/Blogging/Flickr Stream/Entire Doll universe, and I really don't want to lie. I don't want to keep anything from you, I want to have an honest and open "relationship" (hey, it's true, I love you guys). Well, here we go...

For about a week, I was considering not doing anything will my dolls anymore.

THERE I SAID IT.
I understand that the vast majority of you don't actually care... so you have my full permission to leave. I don't mind if you don't mind, because it's really not all that much of a big deal. But if you want to hear then I will explain in full and graphic detail (kidding, it's not that exciting...) what was racing through my mind.
I can blame part of it on all the stress I was going under: it was the week before my first high school exams, and as a break from studying I was hanging out with someone who I can genuinely say is one of my favourite people ever. We were talking about the possibility of re-doing her room this summer, and I mentioned the fact that my closet was an alarming and ghastly shade of pink, that I had chosen when I was five (her entire room was a bright tie-die purple). Then she said "Yeah, but it's full of dolls, creepy, man... I mean, it's really really cool that you have a business, and that you sew clothes... but dolls, man." I already knew her opinion on my dolls. I did, and I guess I was definitely kind of embarrassed at the fact that they were 'creepy'.
So that night I lay in bed, with a weight in my stomach, thinking. I told myself I would keep only a select few dolls out, to model my Etsy clothing, and put the rest in their boxes in my closet. I would only keep out a select few other items of clothing. I would get rid of my entire doll house, just keep the top shelf to keep my other dolls on. I was honestly so embarrassed that something I did was considered 'creepy', not cool, not something more than socially acceptable. I kept this thought in my mind basically all through exams.
But hey... you remember that one I time I was filming the last episode of 'I wrote a book', and had to throw my dolls behind a fence and pretend to just be taking pictures, because there were people my age coming?
Or do you remember the time I pretended my driveway was central park?

I decided eventually I would not leave. 
That, you know what? Dolls are pretty creepy! People have their entire right to think that! But it does not need to be a collective opinion of everyone on the planet. It's not something I do for, or with my school friends. I won't keep it a secret from them, but if they want to know, let them know. Let them think it's creepy. But I am entirely entitled to my own opinion, and in this situation it is sometimes harder to stick to your own opinion. But honestly, I do like what I do, and I want to continue doing it.

Videos have alway been less frequent recently, mainly because of school, my band, exams, a play I'm in, my dance class, in the summer I'll have soccer, friends, and even though my extracurriculars are currently cancelled (poop.), once they get started up I'll have them again. I can't be a superhuman, I can't do everything, all the time, and be perfect at it. However, I will try my best and hopefully in the end come out with something worth watching.

So this is why I slaved away at a computer at 11 o'clock at night when I really should have been sleeping, but hey! It needed to be said, someone needed to say it. So it may as well have been me.

Now go watch this video:


you may have already seen it, but I think it entirely fits the theme of this post.
Thank you.
You guys are lovely.

Ahh, now that that weight is off my chest, I'll hopefully have an 'all of my dolls' video up tomorrow, after 3 years since my last one... :)

-Charlotte

13 comments:

  1. Oh Charlotte.
    I'm SO GLAD that you're not leaving.
    Yeah, I'd feel like that too if that had happened to me.
    -☮♥Ⅿℯɡ

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  2. I love your Etsy shop! Your style and colors and, ugh! It's so cool. :) I'm a senior in High school and I can remember freshman year, wanting to fit in, be cool all that jazz. But, ya now I'm a senior and I don't really care.(I kinda fit in. okay maybe not) You'll make friends. Some will come, and others are meant to go. Please don't let someone (key word ONE), stop you. You have like 2,000 something subscribers. They all care, not only about you but dolls too. Okay now I'm Just rambling... Good luck kid. and keep your head up. :)
    -Mary Beth

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  3. Hi Charlotte

    Hope it is ok making a comment.

    Don't give up with your Dolls- you have a real talent for fashion and writing and all your dolls help you express these.

    There are many women who enjoy collecting and making clothes for dolls.

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  4. PS- I think George is awesome!

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  5. Hey, I probably would have went home and cried if i was in your shoes when your friend said that to you. I think one of the reasons i stuck with dolls for so long was because Eden was into dolls too, and it was fun if we could both be those weird older kids who still "played with dolls" together.

    I remember in 4th grade we had to do a project that was making your own small business. My business was making matching jewelry for girls and their dolls and I was really proud of it. Then we had to present it in front of the whole class, and it was okay until afterwards when bunch of people in my class said i was stupid and and retarded that i was a baby. I was so embarrassed I cried a lot and I was really secretive about everything. Probably explains my lack of friends in 4th and 5th grade. Except for Eden, who was also uber secret about doll stuff.

    I'm really glad that you're not quitting over something that your friend said. Yeah, Dolls are a little weird and creepy but also really really fun. She might just think dolls are creepy because she dosen't know how awesome they are. Anyways you are SO TALENTED when it comes to everything you do with your dolls and I'm really glad you're not leaving the doll universe*SO SORRY I JUST REALIZED HOW LONG THIS COMMENT IS OH MY GOD*

    Maisie

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  6. I'm glad you aren't leaving! I'm not acutally on YouTube, but I watch your videos all the time.
    May I ask, what pattern do you use to make the boy doll plaid shirts? I really like the fit and would like to try it out myself. If you made the pattern yourself, consider publishing it for purchase! (For free would be nice as well. ;)

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  7. Touché! Just because other people do not share or understand your passion with dolls, it doesn’t mean you have to stop loving what you do. It’s actually what separates you from all the “clichés” in this world, if you know what I mean.

    Chris Jeffery

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  8. I know exactly how you feel!!! People always think my dolls are weird. I just found your blog tho, I love it!!! Plz keep writing!!!

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    Replies
    1. Same here. It's awful that some people don't like dolls, I couldn't begin to imagine my life without mine. I love your blog as well!

      ~Jessica~

      www.meandmelly.blogspot.com.au

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  9. your friend can think what she wants... it's not our or your choice to change her opinion,
    and I'm confused????
    are you saying you're leaving or not??????
    I don't care what's cool,
    I think that these dolls are awesome!
    my friend used to be so mean about my dolls,
    saying things like "I don't think they're worth it" or "they're pretty weird..."
    and whenever I tried to tell her to stop she'd say, "gees Giz, you're such a drama queen. why do you even care about them????
    she's STARTING to like them now though...

    ~Giz! :D

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    Replies
    1. No, I'm not leaving! I was just kind of mad at her for a little while :)

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  10. You should have a giveaway, if you aren't interested in your dolls, but you shouldn't give up with playing with dolls.

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  11. I just found your blog and I already like it! Never stop doing what u love and if you love doing doll stuff than I think u should keep doing it!!! :)

    -elly

    2dollstars.blogspot.com

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